Change in the air :)

I decided that I wont be writing any more weepy stories in my blog..
I am never portrayed as a weepy bug in my life, however my diaries were always too melodious. I feel I shud see more optimistic side of my life and my words( I am very much sure about it after reading this article by Chriz ;) )...
When I think about the best things in my life first and foremost will be my friends, second my travel and third dreams ... May be my journeys( rather wanderings : P ) will be a good topic to start with..

So I am trying to shed my emotional, negative side and trying to write something readable...As always, I will be very glad if I can see ( or may be feel ) that I have spread some smiles..
Its worth giving a try I feel ...

Please do give me ur suggestions and criticisms openheartedly... Here I am, waiting to take comments and eager to improve :)

Today is my birthday ..

Today I celebrated my birthday and it was fantastic ...

I cut the cake (Black Forest ) yummyyyyy...(look at the photo)
I got gifts ...awesome...they are the best ..somethings which I wanted for a long time
So many people wished me a good year n long life n joys n a lot more...
I went to temple and felt being rejuvenated...

Today was gr8 day... n thanks to ayshu n indu, I really wonder where they kept the cake n gifts hidden from my eyes : )..a very special thanks to ayshu , she made my day so memorable and really cheerful...I wudnt have done it so good without her..

There were some wishes which didnt come like last year ...but no regrets !!.. I m content today...full of fun,peace n a gr8 feel of belonging to people who love me without any masks...or demands...

Here I belong,among lots of caring hands ...

I make my wish to be with my friends and fill my life with a lot of fun and optimism..and make each day , each moment more memorable ...
Most importantly " to live in the present moment !!"

എന്റെ അമ്മ

എന്റെ അമ്മയെ ഞാന്‍ ഇന്നു വല്ലാതെ മിസ്സ്‌ ചെയ്യുന്നു....അമ്മയുടെ കൈത്തുമ്പില്‍ പിടിച്ചു നടക്കാന്‍ കൊതി തോന്നുന്നു.. എത്രയൊക്കെ independent എന്ന് പറഞ്ഞാലും അമ്മയുടെ സാരിത്തുംബിന്റെ അത്ര സ്വാതന്ത്ര്യം ഒരു മാസത്തെ ശംബളം ഒരിക്കലും എനിക്ക് തന്നിട്ടില്ല ... ഇന്നു എനിക്ക് അമ്മയെ കാണാന്‍ ഒത്തിരി തോന്നുന്നുണ്ടായിരുന്നു.. ഞാന്‍ അമ്മയുമായി ചെറിയ ഒരു പിണക്കത്തില്‍ ആയിരുന്നു .. അമ്മയെ വിഷമിക്കാതിരിക്കാന്‍ ഞാന്‍ കണ്ടെടുത്ത വഴികള്‍ കൂടുതല്‍ വിഷമങ്ങള്‍ക്ക് വഴി വെച്ചു എന്ന് അറിഞ്ഞപ്പോഴുള്ള ഒരു നിസ്സഹായത .. ഒന്നു ഓടിച്ചെന്നു കെട്ടിപ്പിടിച്ചു കരയാന്‍ തോന്നിയ ദിവസം ..പിന്നെ കുറെ നേരം കരഞ്ഞു അമ്മയുടെ മടിയില്‍ കിടന്നുറങ്ങാന്‍ തോന്നിയ ദിവസം ...ഞാന്‍ എന്തിന് ഇത്രയും വളര്ന്നു എന്നാലോചിച്ചു ദുഃഖം തോന്നിയ ദിവസം ... എത്ര തവണ ഞാന്‍ അമ്മയുടെ ഫോട്ടോ നോക്കി എന്ന് എനിക്കറിയില്ല ... അമ്മയാണ് എന്റെ കൈ പിടിച്ചു ഹരിശ്രീ ആദ്യമായി എഴുതിപ്പിച്ചത് ...അമ്മയുടെ സാരിത്തുമ്പില്‍ ചുറ്റി ആണ് ഞാന്‍ പിച്ച വെച്ചത് ... അമ്മയുടെ വാക്കുകളാണ് എന്നെ സ്വപ്‌നങ്ങള്‍ കാണാന്‍ പഠിപ്പിച്ചത് .. ...എന്റെ ഗുരു ..എന്റെ വെളിച്ചം ..പക്ഷെ ഞാന്‍ ഇന്നു അമ്മയില്‍ നിന്നും ഒത്തിരി ദൂരെ ഒട്ടും വിലയില്ലാത്ത കുറെ സ്വപ്‌നങ്ങള്‍ കെട്ടി പടുക്കാനുള്ള ശ്രമത്തില്‍ ... ഞാന്‍ പ്രക്‌ടികാല്‍ ആണ് മാലോകരെ ... വിലയുള്ള മുത്തുകള്‍ കാണാതെ നിലാവെട്ടത്തില്‍ മിന്നുന്ന മിന്നമിനുങ്ങികളെ പിടിക്കാന്‍ ശ്രമിക്കുന്ന ഒരു പ്രക്‌ടികാല്‍ ജീവി ..

എന്റെ കണ്ണുകളും ഈ പുതിയ മോടിയില്‍ കബളിപ്പിക്കപ്പെട്ടോ .... സ്വപ്നങ്ങള്‍ക്ക് വേണ്ടി വിലപ്പെട്ട പലതും നഷ്ടപ്പെടുത്തണം എന്നത് ഒരു rule ആണോ അതോ വലിയ blunder ??? ഒരു balance, when will we find one ?

Dasvidaniya

Its the title of a movie which made me laugh n cry...in wiki, I read tat its 'the best good bye ever'
I felt its absolutely right..
If I see such movies, it becomes so close to my heart and I keep weaving my thoughts around it ..Seeing it again and again doesnt bore me ...
The best scene in this movie is when Amar(Vinay Pathak) proposes Neha(Neha Dhupia)(Check out the youtube link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BHHIllaBqJQ
I know most of you would have watched it..Well, I am watching it again n again from the last 2 hrs ( :P )
The silence speaks volumes in that scene. ..who said that we need words to express our feelings ? Arent they felt beyond words ??
And after I finished watching this movie, I was thinking wad will be my 10 wishes...I had a big list as usual..From unsaid words to unshared love....I am not afraid of death.But there is one question , if I don't get a chance to say 'Do svidaniya !!', then ?? (I guess,tat situation is a little horrifying !!!!!! )

Do you know me ?

Do you know me ?
I was the one
who walked with you in your lonely days
Do you know me?
I was the silent listener
when you wanted to talk
Do you know me?
I was those invisible hands
which reached across miles and miles
To wipe your tears
Do you know me ?
I was the silent follower
Following you everywhere
Do you know me?
I was those tears
I was those prayers
I was those unsaid words
I was the heart which cried for you...

Being myself

Being yourself is the toughest task , especially when people say tat u r nt normal...

Today, this post is about "My story being myself"

So about me as you'l see me: Too fat n serious ...
I am a foodie...I dont eat too much( I believe so :P) ... But I am overweight..soon to be obese ..

And with normal symptoms of being fat/overweight :Taking new year resolution to reduce, dreaming about loosing weight in 20 days, following all diet charts ,Getting frustrated, withdrawing to myself, depression.....
I dont know hw many of us understand hw people gets hurt when we pass comments like ' moti', frm where you buy ur food, abt the size of clothes and so many comments which can always start a laughter at any point of time..
In the past 25 years, I was not able to find what was wrong with me.. People used to look at me and say 'Oops'..At an age where u really crave for attention, and then one day u realise that u dont satisfy even the basic criteria for being in the list..its heartbreaking and u feel tat u r the only person who is terribly ignored by all, even the GOD Almighty...
Its nt at all very nice..
People accuse you of eating too much, will try to "advise" you saying why you will end up alone, unattractive and a burden...(Well, i really dont know whether those f****** speeches were advices or cheap demoralising demotivating play of words)
I have heard all those speeches a lot from people who call them 'perfect'. I still hate them for destroying my confidence..
Years and years of taunting, how many times i have considered myself like somebody who doesnt deserve any good things coz I am nt like those 'perfect' people..

Those were the darkest days of my life...But then i leant to take care of myself, protect my feeling from getting hurt...Learnt that my perfection lies n my imperfection and some people can see me beyond my body..I was/am very happy. There are some wonderful friends who can say ' I believe you' and 'You are one of the most wondeful human being ' and it keeps me going..coz my harmony is within myself which I realised after so much of tears..


Nw I take those jokes lightly, the taunts with better moulded replies and mostly with a smile..

I am happy the way I am...tats wad I will tell u...but there is some part in my heart which says ' Why am I like this ?" Thanks to all the tauntings and the people who could nt see me as I am..
Nowadays I am trying to be better coz pain is the greatest encouragement from your heart....
So please think before you comment on somebody who is nt like you... Just be considerate coz you may be giving them a tear and worst part, you will never be able to wipe off tat tear coz its invisible for anybody's eyes..

Coz I have shed so much invisible tears in the silence of night...

Being myself is a struggle for me... every day struggle..a fight with the forced roots of my complexes, unforgotten words and yes, my tears....

awara hoon...

movie : awara sang by : Mukesh
y i kept it here : I think the lyrics reflected my heart at one point of time
hw many times i heard this song yesday night: more than 10 times
Wad I wished for when i listened: An empty road in the evening, a rain , only the music of rain drops filling my ears
Did I dance : tats a secret :D


Awara hoonYa
gardish mein hoon aasmaan ka taara hoon
Aawara hoon
Gharbaar nahi
sansaar nahi
Mujhse kisi ko pyaar nahi(2)
Us paar kisi se milne ka ikraar nahi
Mujhse kisi ko pyaar nahi(2)
Sunsaan nagar anjaan dagar ka pyaara hoon
Awara hoon....Awara hoon
Ya gardish mein hoon aasmaan ka taara hoon
Awara hoon
Abaad nahi barbaad sahi
Gaata hoon khushi ke geet magar(2)
Zakhmo se bhara seena hai mera
Hansti hai magar ye mast nazar
Duniya…Duniya mein tere teer ka ya taqdeer ka maara hoon
Awara hoonAwara hoon
Ya gardish mein hoon aasmaan ka taara hoon
Awara hoon....Awara hoon...Awara hoon

ഒരു ചെറിയ കുഴപ്പം

പലപ്പോഴും തോന്നിയിട്ടുണ്ട് എന്റെ തലയ്ക്കു ശരിക്കും എന്തെങ്കിലും പ്രശ്നം ഉണ്ടോ എന്ന് ...കാരണം പലരും പറയുന്ന practicality/logical thinking എന്ന് പറയുന്ന ആ സംഭവം എന്റെ തലയില്‍ കാര്യമായി കയറാറില്ല ... അത് എന്റെ മാത്രം കാര്യമാണോ എന്ന് എനിക്കറിയില്ല .... അവരുടെ practical thoughts എന്തോ അങ്ങോട്ട് ശരി ആവുന്നില്ല.. സമയം കളഞ്ഞു തന്ത്രങ്ങള്‍ മേനയാനോ ഒത്തിരി ആലോചിക്കാനോ അഭിനയിക്കാനോ അങ്ങനെ ഒത്തിരി practical ആവാനോ ഒന്നും എനിക്ക് പറ്റുമെന്ന് തോന്നുന്നില്ല ... അങ്ങനെ ചെയ്യുന്നവരെ കാണുമ്പൊള്‍ പൊട്ടിച്ചിരിക്കാന്‍ തോന്നാറുണ്ട്... നല്ല കുറച്ചു നിമിഷങ്ങളെ തന്ത്രങ്ങള്‍ മെനഞ്ഞു നഷ്ടപ്പെടുത്തുന്നവര്‍ എന്ന് .... നമുക്കൊക്കെ മുകളില്‍ വലിയ തന്ത്രങ്ങള്‍ മേനഞ്ഞിരിക്കുന്നു എന്ന് അവര്‍ മനസ്സിലാക്കുന്നില്ല എന്നാണോ ... ഞാന്‍ പറഞ്ഞപോലെ 'logic of so called practicality is beyond my understanding' ... അവര്‍ എത്ര വിശദീകരിച്ചാലും പിന്നെയും ഈ ശങ്കരന്‍ തെങ്ങിന്‍ മേല്‍ തന്നെ ... ഇനി എന്റെ എങ്ങനെയാ ഒന്നു ശരിയാക്കുക ഈ ലോകത്തില്‍ ഫിറ്റ്‌ ആകുന്ന മാതിരി ... ഇത്ര വര്ഷം കഴിഞ്ഞില്ലേ ഇനി തലച്ചോറ് വളരും എന്ന് തോന്നുന്നില്ല... എന്താ ചെയ്ക അല്ലെ ...

വിട

ഒത്തിരി ഒന്നും പറയാതെ വിട വാങ്ങുകയായി മേഘങ്ങള്‍
എനിക്കും തോന്നുന്നു വിട പറയാന്‍
എന്‍റെ ഈ നടന്നു മടുത്ത വഴികളോട്
എന്‍റെ കണ്ണുകള്‍ കണ്ടു മടുത്ത മുഖങ്ങളോട്
അല്ലെങ്കില്‍ എന്നെ കണ്ടു മടുത്ത കണ്ണുകളോട്
ഒഴുകി തീരാറായ എന്‍റെ കണ്ണ്നീര്‍ തുള്ളികളോട്
വിലാപം മടുത്ത എന്‍റെ അന്തരാത്മവിനോട്
ജനിക്കാതെ മരിച്ച എന്‍റെ നിലവിളികളോട്
വിട പറയാന്‍ തോന്നുന്നു ......
മഴ തോര്‍ന്നിരിക്കുന്നു .... മേഘങ്ങള്‍ വിടവാങ്ങുന്നു
എന്‍റെ കാര്‍മേഘങ്ങള്‍ക്ക് ഞാനും വിട കൊടുക്കട്ടെ
ശാന്തമായ ഈ നീലാകാശം വിട കൊടുക്കുന്ന പോലെ

ഇവിടെ മഴ പെയ്യുകയാണ്

ഇവിടെ മഴ പെയ്യുകയാണ്...കോരിചോരിഞ്ഞു എന്ന് തന്നെ പറയാം
ആരുടെ ദുഖമാണാവോ ഇന്നു മഴ ഏറ്റുവാങ്ങിയത്....

ഒരു മഴ പെയ്തു ...മണ്ണിന്‍റെ നൊമ്പരം മാറ്റാന്‍ എന്ന പോലെ ....
ഒരു മഴ പെയ്തു ... ആകാശത്തിന്റെ ദുഃഖം ഒഴുകിയിറങ്ങിയ പോലെ
ഒരു മഴ പെയ്തു ... ആരുടെയോ കണ്ണുനീര്‍ മേഘങ്ങള്‍ ഏറ്റുവാങ്ങിയ പോലെ
ഒരു മഴ പെയ്തു ... അങ്ങനെ ഒരു മഴ പെയ്തു
ആകാശവും ഭൂമിയും ഞാനും ഒരു പോലെ നനഞ്ഞു ആ മഴയില്‍
നൊമ്പരങ്ങള്‍ ഏറ്റു വാങ്ങി അന്ന് മഴ വിട വാങ്ങി
ഇനിയും നിന്‍റെ ദുഃഖങ്ങള്‍ ഞാന്‍ അറിയും എന്ന വാക്കുകളോടെ

3 points my sister gave...

3 points my sister gave abt my life...abt the things which needs to b taken care ....

1. Why do I always think about myself , why I spend time analyzing, categorizing the things I did and I am going to do, planning my life ??
2. Why do I spent time regretting about things in the past ?
(The explanation she gave was “the things done were right to u when u did it …u may feel that the decision was wrong now. But it was right once. Right/Wrong is a relative term…so leave the past…live in present….)
3. Never allow anybody to hold the thread for ur happiness or sadness. Its your life and they have their own. Nobody can manage 2 threads simultaneously. In short “ never become a football played by others”

Ess aka Remya

Remya…or Ess..
Other than the similarity in our names, we belong to two different categories of humans :) …but we always gel well…..
Remya, the first n foremost thing u notice about her , will be her smile..I know her from 2002, She used to be my roommate…She was the last one to enter the room in the hostel..We three were waiting to see her( 4 were in a room). When she came in, she had a big round bindi of sandalwood paste on her forehead, her duppatta was neatly done with a clip..She was very serious…then at a high speed , it melted..she was the one who introduced us with all the norms n places in tat ashram…Later we realized that she is more bubbly n active than she seemed to be in the first place…
She is my first Christmas friend…She gave me a diary with Meroon bind..I believe it was a matrubhoomi diary…we used to have fun..Then we had fought one day…Never talked to each other, for many months followed, for some reason which seems very silly when I look back now.. But then again, somebody brought us together and she became dear to me again..
She used to come to my room in hostel from her flat , just to enjoy our anthaksharies …She can make u smile with some very innocent remarks … Me Priya etc used to wait for her so that the blast is 100% …She was my partner in bunking Friday afternoon sessions, to go home…or rather I can say I used to brainwash her to do this : )…
Then she was always in my company to enter the classroom only by 9.30 evenwhen it regularly starts at 8.30…with a big broad smile while calling out “Misssss”
There are many more naughty things we have done together..Not very naughty as per the standards, may be...But we used to enjoy all those times…Even now whenever we r together we can feel the change in energy …..Good Old times!!!
I am very proud to say that very few people have seen her the way I did…I don’t really know how many understands the maturity she had behind her childish acts..
She is very different from Priya…When I have a very matured talk with Priya, with Ess it was more like I was/am dominating most of the time… I used to advise, scold etc etc..Sometimes it made me feel that she is my younger sister…May be it is like that even now…She empathises a lot for me. Sometimes she had shed more tears for my problems than myself…
Priya n I , we are very matured n grown ups before her even now…I respect her innocence….She is one of those people who never keep something in the corner of their heart n talk….
She is very sweet…One of the very sweetest n noblest persons….Very sensitive n emotional…I can assure you one thing, if you want to understand what she is, she has to allow you do so…Else you will just see someone else, not the actual her…I guess I am one of those blessed ones… :)
If you ask me about her then the first word will be ‘Bubbly…she is always bubbling with energy’

Then she follows diet for 2 days , n eat biriyani n burger etc on third day ( Well, priya told me tat she has stopped eating high calorie stuff…hmmm….I doubt :P )
One secret I can share here, whenever she feels bad for me, I melt :)
….She is good singer, very active n smart, crazy for Hindi , patriotic and ardent fan of Kendriya Vidyalaya, a big time kathi…lots n lots like tat… She has taught me to keep faith, be optimistic…

Slightest change in my character or approach , I know it will hurt her ….. So I care a lot …I can always pamper her :) like my sis , hug her like a friend ,console her like an elder….lots n lots…. She is also going to the next stage of a girl’s life….I wish her the best
I will always be there ….always….

Priyaa

Priya…

Well, I know her since 2002, when I joined for my B.Tech Course. But we started knowing each other better in 2006 ...during the final year and then during our first days in Bangalore.
What made us gel well ?? Well, simple reason tat we both were/are half cracks : P…
We are different in a lot of ways…but rather than forcing each other, I feel we both respect each other’s space n thinking….whether same or different…
We used to get same crazy ideas n most of the time we could read each other pretty well..
Funniest thing is both of us are equally childish n matured…. exchange the roles from a childish to a matured attitude most of the time …
Some situations had been common between us at different point of time…
Like….
First time wen I spoke to her , the topic was homesickness…She was cryin etc etc…
I think I acted like a “big bro” kind tat time : P … But nowadays I feel we have exchanged the roles ..hehehe..I cry n she consoles….

When we came to Bangalore, I still remember that we used to talk for hours n hours a day
..We used to call so often that Priya’s colleagues had ended up assuming that she has a boyfriend :-P …. Now people in my new team believe that I have a boyfriend : P … U know the reason ..dont u ?? Roles change!!!

The topic we discuss always range from literature , philosophy , religion, technology ….films, magazines….every aspect of our lives, changes we see…..changes we accept..which all things we should resist….our poems, writeups…everything…
The greatest thing is we have such a gr8 frequency match..so we never needed many words/questions to express or to understand what we felt. In her company I never felt stupid/ashamed about any of my thoughts or feelings…I am always sure that she will know what I feel beyond the words I utter ….
There were great many nights , wen we sat together discussing about deeper meaning of lyrics of songs, books , our love for nature , dreams ….till 2 or 3 am we’l be chatting…listening..Discussing ..making decisions….sometimes just go on dreaming like being among clouds , about clouds..about the beggar I/she saw on street…each new things we saw in our day today lives... ( Don’t be surprised, we used to do it ...) We enjoyed the activity so called ‘loud thinking/dreaming”.
These years , whatever changes we had in our lives, been always good… U can say “we grew together through our own experiences/thoughts “

Ayshu used to make fun coz our discussion used to become loud when everyone sleeps at 11-12 pm..and when somebody (Mostly Ayshu coz she’l be awake ) overhears, they will end up saying nothing other than “ These two are completely mad ”

Priya has a great sense of humor which can keep any group entertained and her target was Indu…later, coz of Ayshu’s ‘Great’ comments , the target was moved to Ayshu…I used to be a good listener…But she is one of those people who can understand my real face/feeling under my facial expression…
Priya has taught me so much in life…
Priya is the one who made me realize that distance or lack of a call cannot break a friendship….And whenever I was in UK , most of the time when I feel down , somehow I used to receive her mail with just two words in it ‘ hi dee ‘ or ‘da busy ?” …She knew the value of those two words..She knew how much I will welcome it….
She taught me wads called selflessness in friendship…she helped me to forgive people..She has been helping me to fight my confusions n problems..
She is always patient with me n my worries…
She never asked me to follow her advice…she always gave me directions to move forward …She never fought with me for not following her advice…or never bugged me with the question Why….
So always I could count on her on anything at any point of time….
Then there are so many more things about her …If I write everything down, I will end up writing 40-50 pages at least …

Now she is going to start her life … I wish her all the best n a lot of happiness around …
It has been always a blessing to have you around….It will always be …

picking up the gems ....

Friendship…well …U know wad it is and you know how it feels to be….
I think I should dedicate some of my posts introducing some of my very very good friends …my best friends …I often become a 100% nonstop express when I talk about them coz I have so much to tell you about them ……

I am not writing much about anything..but a few words now


“ My friends are the blessings in my life !! “
So from now on…I am goin to write abt them…recollecting the gems

I

How do u react to a thought that u may nt be here tomorro....

Will u be missed ?
Will ur ash stay in the air for long?
Will you be remembered coz u had a nice smile ?
Will you be remembered coz u had a gr8 lot of friends ?

Just think, my friend, what will happen if u just leave this place ?

How long will u be remembered?
How long tears for you will last ?
How long will u be in the air as just dust...
How long , my friend, how long?

Isnt it true that-
The drama will continue
Everything will go on as usual...
Nothing will change
Coz everything has a replacement...aint it?

Then why we are here till now....
Wad is the gr8 'I' word mean?
Why I should be egoistic...

I am just, but a pile of ash
I am just, but a tear shed n disappeared
I am nothing but a slowly forgotten memory...
I am none who must exist...

ട്രെയിനില്‍ ... ഒരു ഗാനം

തിരക്കില്‍ പെട്ട് വട്ടു പിടിച്ചു നിന്ന സമയത്തു അകത്തു നിന്നു ഒരു നല്ല റൊമാന്റിക്‌ ഗാനം ഒഴുകി എത്തി ....
तुझे देखा तो ये जाना सनम
प्यार होता है दीवाना सनम
अब यहाँ से कहाँ जाए हम
तेरी बाँहों में मर जाए हम ......
ഒരു സുഖം ഉണ്ടായിരുന്നു കേള്‍ക്കാന്‍ .. പാട്ടുകള്‍ പലപ്പോഴും പഴയ കാലത്തെ
ഓര്‍മിപ്പിക്കുമല്ലോ... മരുഭൂമിയില്‍ ഒരു മഴ പെയ്യുന്ന പോലെ ഉണ്ടായിരുന്നു.. പക്ഷെ ആ മഴയുടെ അര്‍ത്ഥം എനിക്ക് അജ്ഞാതം ആയിപ്പോയി ...

Marriage ... another word added to my dictionary

note :Edited since the author is trying to take it up as one of the jokes of life: D(oops...hope my mom never sees this :P )
Recently a new word added to my dictionary and some dialogues I heard w.r.t. tat "Marriage...Marriage ...Marriage...u crossed the age for marriage...u look like a fat aunt...u need to reduce n do facial You have to be mature,coz u have to get married soon" ..oh ..
I ran towards the mirror n looked ...all i cud see was a big figure with under-grown brain( I never knew I have to stop watching cartoon channel one day : ( ..) No Amma, NOOOO...
Then,I imagined myself wearing 2-3 kgs of gold(i know my dad is will hav bankruptcy after tat), lots of jasmine flowers , with lots of artificial hair(knee length hair is still a must u know, no matter whether its artificial or real : P) ...Oh my God!!
I know some of my cousins got married just for tat sake..can u believe ?? ....They were like kiran bedi/phoolandevi b4 marriage ,then became maduri dixit/sridevi after fixing marriage, in the following months they became walking gold mines n sindoor factories...after 1 year , they r retired from this show business behind the shadow of non-stop crying kids or the moochwala husband ....(No more kiran bedi/phoolan devi/maduri..may be more like a rabri) ... Even my mom feels that I would become mature like my cousins :D...
Well, wads all this marriage stuff about??
Is that just a sacred thread that must keep you bonded with somebody ?I wish its not.It should be the union of two people to a lifelong friendship n love, then everything will fall in place even without slightest acknowledgement...
Wadever dude, it gives me a headache seeing myself there :) ....But my friend remya says "cool down" ...well,lets see ....

Three questions

one. Why is the innocence of people called as ill-mannerism and lack of sensibility or ignorance?

two. What does education provide us with? Does it refine us to become a social animal with all those tailor-made gestures called politeness , good manners etc etc? If its aim is to refine , then why all are not refined somewhat on the same level?

three. What is the kind of feeling you get when you see somebody making fun of themselves when they act "un-refined" out of pure innocence ? You will laugh at first ,then that feeling you get, is it called sympathy /compassion /empathy ? or merely something like the love for human beings ?

Few sparks - still in or died out

These are some of the thoughts which made me stop n think, then slowly smile at times...They touched my heart at times, they made me sense anger n some times it left me laughing at our vanity n stupidity... I am pondering over them even now, but some died out soon after they were born!!!

About love :
My roomie said " We fall for someone, decide to love someone or marry someone at that point when we feel that we can never let that someone become somebody else's"

I read somewhere " If I am truly in love, then I dont hav to write paragraphs to show that I love her"

"Love is a feeling which doesnt hav any end ...its a great feeling "

No matter the distance or the arguments, we are always connected coz we share the same sky n air and we see the same sun every morning"

"I love him more than anything even then I know he loves me more than I love him"

In US :
In one super market, one sales lady addressed my friend as ' that black lady', I am so surprised to see people still addressing others by their skin color..Are we goin to change , ever ??

About gender :

Girls are not privileged to work with a guys' group without any rumors or gossips ??
I cant digest this please...

About marriage :

Girls should get married before 24-25 coz the society says so ..( my comment : wad the #### )

Marriage is the only big thing in life ( my comment : No comments , wad is left to say nw gals !! )

About Life :

99% of our life depends on all those short moments when we say a 'yes' or 'no'

Life stops when you feel that you are bound to obey only the rules of society , not your intuition.

None can be more guilty than the person who lives in the past, worrying about future and forgetting the present.

Forgiving oneself is the toughest decision...

About Smile :

Smile keeps away worries, keeps others around you smiling , gives all answers when you dont want to answer n gud for ur face muscles : )

Chennai Notes

Tambaram, finally I ended up in a so called satellite town on the southern tip of Chennai for the year 2009. As usual , it was my decision to put myself into a new situation and new struggle. It makes me stronger. There were matters on which I wanted myself to be strong. Unfortunately after coming here I realised that all such conceptions could not be realised. Then there was state from which I thought I will never come out.
But as usual, I got adapted to this place also. So having a peaceful time now ,to a great extend.
The main thing I liked about this place is that I am travelling a lot..by auto, then by train and after that by bus.
My office is at a place called Paranur which is 35 – 40 minutes from Tambaram by train. I have no clue about buses. Its not that I don't have the desire to try out buses. Its just that the crowd and the climate scare me away from getting into a bus.
Everyday I am seeing the same rail tracks. But I am seeing so much of life in the many faces I encounter each day. As you all know, my favourite hobby is observing people and to tell you the truth, I am seeing a lot of true lives these days.
From the beauty conscious chicks(as my friend calls them)with shall/duppatta around their faces to the very plain gipsy kind of women who just welcomes sun with full delight..the ladies compartment is diverse.
In the station while waiting for train as usual, I never remember the actual time of the train..So always I miss the train by 5 mins...hehe, one day I saw an old blind man. He was in the 6th platform ,the platform opposite to my platform, platform 8. He was very old and age has given him a slight bend. Each of his steps were so much calculated or one step was taking a lot of strain. He was taking a complete info about where to keep the next step with a long stick. In 5-10 minute , he might have moved few feet that's all. I don't want to sympathise or empathise. But I would like to say that I bow before human strength and hope which keeps him all through his difficulties.
So many women, working on the rail tracks, they are not figure conscious or with sunscreen lotions ...they are plain ,without any pretensions..working for their daily meal...The luxury we are having is not without a cost...isn't it ?
On my way, most places are villages with long fields , lots of cows and hills...the greenery of those places are fading as the summer claims his rule.
Places with sunburned people..that's how I want to call this place.
I see many things which makes me think ,dream and bring my own threads to make some stories.
It may sound crazy for many. But who knows , some of my imaginary stories might be true... : )
Thats all for today...will write more later...c ya all..