Today, this post is about "My story being myself"
So about me as you'l see me: Too fat n serious ...
I am a foodie...I dont eat too much( I believe so :P) ... But I am overweight..soon to be obese ..
And with normal symptoms of being fat/overweight :Taking new year resolution to reduce, dreaming about loosing weight in 20 days, following all diet charts ,Getting frustrated, withdrawing to myself, depression.....
I dont know hw many of us understand hw people gets hurt when we pass comments like ' moti', frm where you buy ur food, abt the size of clothes and so many comments which can always start a laughter at any point of time..
In the past 25 years, I was not able to find what was wrong with me.. People used to look at me and say 'Oops'..At an age where u really crave for attention, and then one day u realise that u dont satisfy even the basic criteria for being in the list..its heartbreaking and u feel tat u r the only person who is terribly ignored by all, even the GOD Almighty...
Its nt at all very nice..
People accuse you of eating too much, will try to "advise" you saying why you will end up alone, unattractive and a burden...(Well, i really dont know whether those f****** speeches were advices or cheap demoralising demotivating play of words)
I have heard all those speeches a lot from people who call them 'perfect'. I still hate them for destroying my confidence..
Years and years of taunting, how many times i have considered myself like somebody who doesnt deserve any good things coz I am nt like those 'perfect' people..
Those were the darkest days of my life...But then i leant to take care of myself, protect my feeling from getting hurt...Learnt that my perfection lies n my imperfection and some people can see me beyond my body..I was/am very happy. There are some wonderful friends who can say ' I believe you' and 'You are one of the most wondeful human being ' and it keeps me going..coz my harmony is within myself which I realised after so much of tears..
Nw I take those jokes lightly, the taunts with better moulded replies and mostly with a smile..
I am happy the way I am...tats wad I will tell u...but there is some part in my heart which says ' Why am I like this ?" Thanks to all the tauntings and the people who could nt see me as I am..
Nowadays I am trying to be better coz pain is the greatest encouragement from your heart....
So please think before you comment on somebody who is nt like you... Just be considerate coz you may be giving them a tear and worst part, you will never be able to wipe off tat tear coz its invisible for anybody's eyes..
I am a foodie...I dont eat too much( I believe so :P) ... But I am overweight..soon to be obese ..
And with normal symptoms of being fat/overweight :Taking new year resolution to reduce, dreaming about loosing weight in 20 days, following all diet charts ,Getting frustrated, withdrawing to myself, depression.....
I dont know hw many of us understand hw people gets hurt when we pass comments like ' moti', frm where you buy ur food, abt the size of clothes and so many comments which can always start a laughter at any point of time..
In the past 25 years, I was not able to find what was wrong with me.. People used to look at me and say 'Oops'..At an age where u really crave for attention, and then one day u realise that u dont satisfy even the basic criteria for being in the list..its heartbreaking and u feel tat u r the only person who is terribly ignored by all, even the GOD Almighty...
Its nt at all very nice..
People accuse you of eating too much, will try to "advise" you saying why you will end up alone, unattractive and a burden...(Well, i really dont know whether those f****** speeches were advices or cheap demoralising demotivating play of words)
I have heard all those speeches a lot from people who call them 'perfect'. I still hate them for destroying my confidence..
Years and years of taunting, how many times i have considered myself like somebody who doesnt deserve any good things coz I am nt like those 'perfect' people..
Those were the darkest days of my life...But then i leant to take care of myself, protect my feeling from getting hurt...Learnt that my perfection lies n my imperfection and some people can see me beyond my body..I was/am very happy. There are some wonderful friends who can say ' I believe you' and 'You are one of the most wondeful human being ' and it keeps me going..coz my harmony is within myself which I realised after so much of tears..
Nw I take those jokes lightly, the taunts with better moulded replies and mostly with a smile..
I am happy the way I am...tats wad I will tell u...but there is some part in my heart which says ' Why am I like this ?" Thanks to all the tauntings and the people who could nt see me as I am..
Nowadays I am trying to be better coz pain is the greatest encouragement from your heart....
So please think before you comment on somebody who is nt like you... Just be considerate coz you may be giving them a tear and worst part, you will never be able to wipe off tat tear coz its invisible for anybody's eyes..
Coz I have shed so much invisible tears in the silence of night...
Being myself is a struggle for me... every day struggle..a fight with the forced roots of my complexes, unforgotten words and yes, my tears....
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